Simon Kaheru

"Avoid these scrambled eggs. How do they even make them? Where did you ever see an advert seeking bad egg chefs?"

"Insist on hearing the history and recipes"

"If you are hoity-toity then don't come here. They deal with humble, ordinary people mostly."

"Take the set menu but check the items against the buffet (at lunch)."

"Check to see if the parties are fresh."

"Eat the 'Smiles'. Try to avoid the guilt as it looks at you poke your finger into the head to scoop out more brain."