Adam Thiele

"Getting a sales associate to undress one of the mannequins in front of you is simple. Finding a way to discreetly record it on your phone is where it get's tricky. Hey, we all have our needs!"

"Guys, just being in here is bad enough. But, it gets worse. Since this place looks like it was organized by a schizophrenic hurricane named Whinehouse, you know you're going to be here a long time."

"If you're looking for one of those pleather jackets with a Looney Tunes character on it, be sure to re-evaluate your life first. Then stop in here."

"If you've managed to make it to McDonalds before 10:30am, Congrats! Don't forget to try an All-New Sausage, Egg and Cheese McFlurry or a Pancake Angus Wrap for a limited time only!"

"Try creating your own hot dog here! Slow down, tiger. Before you get too excited, sundae toppings are not allowed. So much for that hot fudge bacon butterfinger dog you were craving."

"Remember to drink responsibly. And by responsibly I mean alone, in a dark room with a loaded shot gun and plenty of Four Loko."