1. Fortress of Discotude
Ben Breier: Two player Dance Central 2 is impossible in this narrow living room. Kinect with caution.
2. The Syndicate
Ben Breier: It's really important that you #lolpenis
3. Yola's Cafe
Ben Breier: Tamales are only $2. Get two. It's a meal. Criminal.
4. KING NOODLE
Ben Breier: Just eat it all.
Ben Breier: Basically, the worst bar in Williamsburg.
6. Garden Spot Cafe
Ben Breier: Totally meh. I suppose if you haven't been to Greenpoint Coffee House, it might be okay - but compared to what used to be here, this is blah.
7. Den of the Manotaur
Ben Breier: Bring Loko.
Ben Breier: Holy god. This place is all kinds of awful. As much as I hate overdevelopment in Williamsburg, I cannot wait for a condo to be built to knock this thing down.
9. Shinju Sushi
Ben Breier: I can say without question that this is the worst sushi I've had in New York. All the tuna based rolls for the lunch special look like pet food.
10. The Palms
Ben Breier: Wayyyyyyyyyy too much money. Should be $10, or free if you buy some of their schwag.
Ben Breier: What kind of a bar closes at 2?
12. Hip Genius
Ben Breier: Men's bathroom code is 431.
Ben Breier: Missing parts from your furniture? Get fucked! Expect at least three miserable weeks for your hardware.
14. Northern Territory
Ben Breier: The iced coffee here is like the Wu Tang Clan: absolutely nothing to fuck with.
15. Bar Matchless
Ben Breier: Brunch is a disorganized clusterfuck. Kitchen is a disaster. An hour after ordering, no food, no apologies, and it's half full. FAIL.
16. Your Way Cafe
Ben Breier: Wifi here is pretty awful.
17. Good Life Tattoos & Piercings
Ben Breier: Came here from Brooklyn to get work done by John, & he killed it. Better than the vast majority of artists in NYC.
18. Hook & Ladder II
Ben Breier: Holy fuckbuttons, this is an absolute shitpile of a dive. And it rules.
19. Casa Carrera
Ben Breier: Get yr corn fungus on.
20. Breier Compound
Ben Breier: Beware of nasty dog. Seriously.
Ben Breier: It smells bad here!
22. Lunchbox Brooklyn
Ben Breier: Order the Johnson, hold the bleu cheese, and get a little bit of balsalmic instead. You're welcome.
23. Wang Wang's House
Ben Breier: Don't forget to #lolpenis
24. California Tortilla
Ben Breier: Look out for Danders!
25. Charlotte Patisserie
Ben Breier: Hey gurl! Get yr free hazelnut cookie when you check in!
26. Lucky Dog
Ben Breier: A den of annoying, entitled white people who smell like Axe.
Ben Breier: The fig jam they give you with the cheese place must have nicotine in it. I want to drink it for days.
28. Pearl's Social & Billy Club
Ben Breier: Get a damn hot toddy with Jack.
29. Fred Perry Sample Sale
Ben Breier: Ehhhhhhhhhhhh.
30. Mercury Lounge
Ben Breier: Set times listed are always a dirty, dirty lie. Come 45 minutes later than you're planning on coming.
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