Dave P. Wetsprocket

"don't do what i just did. don't spend half an hour waiting in line. make better choices."

"Been waiting here in the drive-thru line for almost 10 minutes now, starving. Should have brought a snack."

"The teachers here do a great job. Administrators and parents are completely oblivious, though."

"Parents, show some manners. Try teaching your kids to be better than you."

"Screwed me out of my first-choice laptop, but two weeks later they made it right. Good on them, but only after the second try."

"Pro tip- don't leave your keys in your car. Just don't do it."