Kei Cripps

"The sewage system tends to back up in the bathroom so, don't be quick to point fingers when it smells like ass."

"Prices went up a dollar, kind of awful but I won't lie, I'll always come crawling back to this place."

"Wolves of Krakenfell roam the forest"

"The calzones are the best. I hardly order anything else when I come in, but I've had the pizza and that's pretty boss, too. Oh, and the salads are huuuge and delicious and packed with meats!"

"The TIRAMISU. Oh god. Get it. Forget that you can't eat anymore because the portions are so generous here. Get the tiramisu."

"Someone is here that is -not- on the invite list!"