Tell the cat you're worried about his weight gain and to cut down on all the tasty mice and sparrows.
Make loud farting noises in the garden to perplex the neighbours
Why not dye the cat pink, shave off some of his fur and give him poodle lessons.
The cat ate all the sandwiches
Why not superglue cherries to your elbows and try to lick them off.
Never offer you salt with your strawberries!
Try to get the seat that's the shape of a rear end
Tell the cat he's got to start eating more vitamin enriched foods and send him to the gym. ;)
Lick the cat thoroughly to give yourself a nice hairy tongue.
Wash all the windows with cheese and then complain to everyone about how dirty they are.
Offer a free nose hair braiding service to all over 35's who enter your home.
When making tea for your friend, make it with cold water and when she complains it's cold tell her it's hot and it must just be her malfunctioning tongue hair.
You're not allowed to use the bath unless you wear flippers and a snorkelling mask.
If you open the fridge watch out for the turnip.
I didn't feel welcome at all
Curl your whiskers with your mums tongs and go for a night on the tiles picking up hot mice.
Fashion little hats out of melon and wear them whilst watching Emerdale.
Why not walk around the house on your hands while whistling the star spangled banner and blowing a small trumpet with your nose.
You could always pop round to Jens to borrow a cup of squid.
Do tiny cartwheels in the kitchen using carrot sticks and celery hearts.
Fart 8 times in rapid succession.
Why not try brown sauce instead of ketchup
Pretend you're a pirate every time you wash the dishes, and sail around in the sink in a boat made of cheese.
Instead of a full carpet, why not just tie little pieces to your feet for that fresh new carpet feel.
You could always sweep the floor...with a small comb.
Why not cross out all the 'e's on your glasses and write over with a 'k' with a red sharpie marker...for fun!
Why not get in the hot tub with a hairy young cat
Why not clean the White board and re write the to do lists in a different colour
Try walking up and down the stairs eight times with an empty mug before watching Coronation Street.
Why not de head any dead plants
Why not walk like an egyptian
Watch out! Ozzie's about!
Beware of the Bawtry Beast