Steve Calderon

"Apparently you don't have to empty your pockets, take out your laptop, or take off your shoes anymore here!"

"Move, bitch. Get out the way. Get out the way, bitch. Get out the way."

"Don't forget to smile at people!"

"Pay no attention to your boarding group number. Instead, just form a large dense crowd right at the jetway door as soon as they open it. This is the only way to be sure you aren't left behind./sarcasm"

"Make lots of wacky faces at baby Ingrid so she'll be your pal!"

"Be sure to leave a donation in the Booze Toob in the Studio. The round of applause will brighten your day."