Nick O'Hare

"Subway has meat from preservative filled bags. Goodcent's has fresh meat and cheeses cut right in front of you."

"There isn't actually a den here."

"I'm on a tram!"

"Legend has it, on a full moon, you can hear the sounds of violent cursing and grown men giggling like Kyles. Old man Leonard won't go near it because he's afraid of the curse put on it by gypsies."

"Such a racially insensitive name! They should change it to "Saltine Barrel"."

"The bathroom had non-sandpaper toilet paper(we're talking Charmin quality here). You just don't see that in public restrooms nowadays."