Edward Lupp

"There's a band-aid on the floor. No one appears to be bleeding, but some guy just ran into the bathroom after finishing a burrito."

"It's not ironic that the drive thru speaker sounds like someone is eating a Whopper while taking your order"

"If the food doesn't send you to the bathroom, the music will. Today's playlist featured TLC, Destiny's Child, and Savage Garden."

"Getting out of this parking lot is like playing a game of Frogger."

"I think the owners mistakenly put an "S" in "fast food.""

"I have spent more time waiting in the lobby than I have in my entire Call of Duty career."