Heef

"There are four automated ticket machines here - two are obvious, two are obscured by a wall. Once you find the hidden ones, laugh at the enormous queues for the obvious ones."

"If you're trading in consoles or mobiles etc be prepared your stuff will need to be tested before you get cash! Can take about an hour. Seen plenty of folks get narked at this as they didn't know!"

"The fountains run in a pattern. Stop and watch them to memorise it; then do something remotely constructive with your life."

"Been here five years; not a cross word between us yet"

"Never time a trip based around Stand 9's timetable. Getting a bus here is pretty much a random throw of the dart."