Catherine Cameron

"Expect to be knocked around especially by pushchairs."

"Every Tuesday, brand new resident DJ Lisa Robertson playing the best indie/britpop/alternative every week! £1 drinks!!"

"The vegetarian 'chicken legs' are amazing!"

"Don't expect to return an item with a receipt if you've had a staff discount on it; you will be spoken to like absolute shite by management as if you've shat on their cat."

"Now costs 20p for a piss."

"Cannot understand plain English. Egg and cheese. Egg......and......cheese."