Jabberwocky

Try the earl grey tea. If you're an average sized human, you will be offered a large mug suitable for an advanced level British tea connoisseur. Hobbits receive cups relative to their size. A+

When the shower doesn't work, grab your shampers and stand in the bay window of the living room - drips from the hole in the ceiling above will wash your grubby locks in no time !

Watch out for the step from hallway to living room! The eye catching caution rug has been moved.

If you want to cheat to become mayor, just keep on logging in willy nilly, as illustrated in a handy attached photo. Know your victory will be empty, though. Empty. Hollow. You will die alone.

Rumour has it that the Romanian Heisenberg formerly resided here. FASCINATING!

Never ask where the resident cat came from. Just appreciate its presence and questionable hygiene.

Bring Chelsea cake.